My eBay listing: 20 beads at 10mm each.
Buyer: How long would these be altogether?
Me: That would come to twenty centimetres altogether.
Buyer: I have no idea how much a centimetre is.

Buyer Number 2: What are these GBPs all over the place? I need a price in money!

Buyer 3: How come a pound is more than a dollar? That can't be right!
[I explain the listing is in GBP and point out that eBay.com shows the USD price in smaller letters beside it.]
Buyer 3: Well, if you'd bothered to notice that I was from the United States of America, you could have sent me an invoice in a proper currency.
Me: Okay, shall we just forget this whole transaction?
Three weeks later:
Buyer 3: I ordered some blah, blah and blah from you three weeks ago, and paid you promptly by Paypal. Please explain why I haven't received my goods yet before I leave you negative feedback.

Buyer 4: I'm the high bidder on this item and I will be sending you a personal check. How much is it in dollars?
Me: Sorry, as the listing says, I can't take dollar checks. You'll need to pay me with Paypal.
Buyer 4: I don't have a Paypal account! YOU SHOULD MAKE THIS MORE CLEAR ON YOUR LISTING.
Me: Well, the listing does say I don't take checks in dollars. Sorry if you didn't see that part.
Her: [ABUSE ABUSE ABUSE]
Me: Okay, shall we just forget this whole transaction?
Her: NO I WANT THE BEADS.
Me: Okay, then you will need to find some way to pay me in British Pounds.
Her: OKAY I WILL SEND YOU AN INTERNATIONAL MONEY ORDER.
Two weeks later, IMO arrives. She owes me about GBP7.95. The IMO is for USD7.00.
I return it to her and relist the beads. A couple of months later, I receive an email from her demanding to know why I have the audacity to have her on my blocked bidder list!!!

Buyer 5: Your listing says free UK shipping but I am American and I know my rights and I expect free shipping too.
Me: Please contact the Royal Mail and advise them that shipping to the US should be the same price as UK domestic shipping. Once they have adjusted their prices, I'll be happy to give you free shipping. Until then, please note that my auctions say I only ship within Europe. Have a nice day.

Buyer 6: u shud ship 2 USA u RASIST!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1 bet u love terrerists 2.